I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
