i think my tv is drunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize