Dual....:-)
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
