were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
