dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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