We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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