I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
