Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need to calm my uterus...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
