first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
