So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
