did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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