I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
