real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
