That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
