And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
