Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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