People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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