WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
