I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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