so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
MIDGETS
????
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize