I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
