Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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