Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
