Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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