In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize