they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Randomize
