yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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