mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
