I am full of burrito and curiosity
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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