I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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