with your own penis?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
