Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
