Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
