dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize