There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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