I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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