dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
