This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
