His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
