your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
