Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
