i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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