if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
