oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
