To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
