I wanna bring you to show and tell
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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