The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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