saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its not stalking. its research.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
