She said her name was "party"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
