One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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