thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
