I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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