No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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