i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
