But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
