you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
