Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We need to get me chipped asap
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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