No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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