I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
