pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
