Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
