Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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