im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize