I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
