At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
