so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's always time for handjobs
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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