is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
